Rinse, Lather, Repeat....

I'm thankful for my kids, I'm thankful for my kids, I'm thankful for my kids.... Today's mantra. Rinse, lather, repeat.  Somedays I want to lather their little heads right off! You know what I mean?? This is how my day has started.

5:30 a.m. My alarm reminds me that I am a mother of 4 and that I must leave my cozy sanctuary.
5:45 a.m. Make life-sustaining coffee and try to watch the news.  "Ebola, Ebola.." Turn off T.V.
6:00 a.m. Must wake up the Littles to get ready for G.A's "school" (her therapies)
6:05 a.m. Hand G.A. her walking cane and point her toward the bathroom and tell her to go potty.
6:10 a.m. Begin to make breakfast. One asks for an egg, the other orders oatmeal.
6:15 a.m. My Man-Boy comes downstairs and flops on the couch.  This is his attempt and waking earlier and being more productive. Ha!
6:16 a.m. Realize I haven't seen G.A walk past the kitchen yet.  Go find her in the dining room, turn her around, and re-send her on her way.
6:20 a.m. My chocolate chip comes dancing to the table with her 18 ft long-stupid-blowup-stupid-SpongeBob-stupid-carnival win-stupid-baseball bat (side note: find person who created those stupid blow-ups for kids and beat them almost to death with them)
6:25 a.m. Realize it ain't happening and take G.A. to the bathroom and get her cleaned up myself.

While we're washing up, I hear it!!! The fighting started!! Chocolate-chip has decided to dance in front of her brother with her 18ft long-stupid-.... (you get the point). I hear her begin the taunting, little girl song and dance. And I hear him in his deepening-man voice threaten her. Back and forth they go. Until the crescendo of the high-pitched screams of "Let me go!" Then....CRASH!  Why is it always my things that get broken?

I feel my face begin to twitch and my heart begin to race. I march into the room to find the offenders and beat them talk to them about what is going on. Why is there always two that don't get along? I have a set of those!! Mine are 14 and 5! For heaven's sakes, these two!!!

Our neighbors already think we're crazy. I thought I would give them more details of my craziness by screaming at these two with the windows open! I think I'm having an aneurism. It's not even 6:30 in the morning, people! My coffee hasn't even gotten into my bloodstream yet! I mean, really!!! Please, someone tell me it will get better before noon. Seriously, $5 to the first person that tells me it will get better before noon!

So, I banished them to their rooms and left my quiet, not-getting-involved-in-the-mornings-festivities, 17 year old daughter in charge while I drive the almost 30 minutes to take G.A. to her class. I'm late in taking her because of the "scene" so I must take her eye drops and administer them en-route (don't ask). I get to her school and realize I'm wearing my house shoes! Oh well, I'm sure I look frazzled and half-crazy anyway by the way my face is still twitching.

The drive is peaceful. Breath....Breath...Breath....

When I get home, my eldest daughter tells me that today is super hero day.  (To be honest, I'm thinking she's going to ask me to "throw something together" for her and bring it to her school) But no.  My daughter dresses up like her hero and goes to her senior year of high school as......ME. Now, that's grace in abundance, people.

9:00 a.m. About to go on my morning walk. Then start the day of home-schooling the crazy 2 that drive me....thankful.

Tomorrow will be another day. My rinse, lather, repeat will start again. I guess I better stop the twitching and put on my cape!

Gift Eyes

My first blog entry and it’s not too light hearted. But it is on my heart so I better write it out.

Our Chinese daughter is 2 weeks out of a double corneal transplant. That is huge! When we first laid eyes on her precious little face almost 3 years ago, the medical exam attached to that tiny girl said it plain and clear…. “can not see”. We quickly called top notched pediatric eye specialists only to hear, “She will most likely never be able to see.” She was almost three years old and living in a special needs orphanage in Jiangxi, China. Surely by now her pathways between her eyes and her brain were dead.  No information had been transmitted down those pathways, so they close.  Our fear was they’d closed forever.

Fast forward two years.  She had a “glimpse”. G.A.’s first cornea surgery was back in July. The surgery went well, it was tough, but she healed.  Over a month went by before we began to see some success from the surgery. She would pick up toys and hold them to her “new eye”. I began to work with her on flash cards and matching games.  I got increasingly excited as she would point out colors and objects. One day we were walking to the park and she exclaimed, “Mommy, see those beautiful yellow flowers!” 

What went wrong? It was about two weeks later when I noticed she began to bang into walls and trip more frequently.  I decided to lay out her favorite matching game and test how she was doing.  My heart sank as she could not see a match. I pulled her close to examine her eye only to find out that I could no longer see the pupil, it had clouded over.  My husband got off of work and we drove across the city to her Cornea Dr. I fought back tears and he told us her new cornea had failed. 

I struggled with many questions. Was it my fault? Did I not give enough thanks? How quickly the “hugeness” of a situation in our life becomes the norm. My blind Chinese daughter walked with me and we spoke together of the beautiful yellow flowers!! HOW DID I BECOME COMPLACENT?  

Her Dr wants to be more aggressive this time. He is going to do a double cornea graft on both of her eyes. This will be our last try. We are giving it all we got! No more dipping our toes in faith. We are going to walk across that water. We are standing on faith that her sight is on the other side! Lord Jesus, please hold my hand.  I do not have the strength to make it alone.

So, today I went for a long beautiful walk in the cool of the morning. I walked and talked with Jesus. I asked Him for more faith and promised more gratitude. I looked at the grandeur of the mountains, the brilliant blue of the sky, the waning green on the trees.  I WILL give thanks for my sight.  I WILL give thanks that my daughter had a glimpse.  I WILL stand, boldly, in prayer and ask the Great Healer if He will touch my daughter and give her sight. 

I began to think of the wonderful gift we are about to receive again.  This gift formed in a mother’s womb. These eyes belonged to someone’s child. These eyes closed  for the last time and someone said “goodbye” to their baby. You can not even imagine the heartache and loss that someone, someplace had to just feel.  And yet they made the choice, to donate, to give my daughter the HOPE OF SIGHT. The magnitude of this gift will not be lost on me.  Not this time! Every time I will look into those beautiful eyes, I will remember the gift that was given and I will be thankful! I will take the time to experience and soak in every color and every vision that my daughter will share with me. 

She has come from half way around the world and she has had a glimpse. Lord, please have compassion on her and heal her sight through these gift eyes.