ALS: Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis

ALS: Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis 

     Remember last year when everyone you knew did the ice-bucket challenge? It became the cool thing to do even if no one knew what "ALS" was.  I'll tell you what it is. It is a motor neuron disease that attacks your nerve cells and quickly kills your muscle function.  It is fatal with a life expectancy of 3-5 years.  And it is what my neurologist has diagnosed me with.  

     Pretty heavy stuff, huh? I'm seeing the top ALS specialist is Arizona this Thursday, the 29th.  I guess a lot will be answered in less than one week.  I can't help it, but my mind is running crazy with so much.  This can't be real.  This is someone else's life that I am reading about. Is this my story that God has been writing out all along?  

     Meagan and I have had long talks about a fall wedding. It would be so beautiful in the colors of Arkansas where her man waits "patiently" for her hand.  I have much work to do in preparing my eldest daughter to be a wife. There's so much to be planned for. My only son will be graduating high-school in 1 1/2 years. He still thinks he's taking our horse with him when he leaves to college.  I kneel in his room by his bed every Monday and pray over his life. I truly feel that God has big plans for Brendan and the enemy wants very badly to stop him. I must carry on in my prayers. My coffee-bean (Analise) is advancing quickly in gymnastics and has her sights set on the olympics (along with every other little girl in gym class).  I sit, three days a week, for two hours each day and cheer on her practice. I am her biggest fan. My Grace-Anna is learning braille. She has announced that she wants to be a teacher for the blind.  She goes into her room and sets up her stuffed animals and proceeds to teach them to use an abacus to count and goes over the "a" on her pretend Perkins brailler.  I dream of what her life will look like. I know it will be precious! Jaret and I will celebrate our 20th Anniversary next year. Boy, have we had a journey together! Our testimony is one of miracles and healing and joy and grace and just.....God's beauty. We have plans of sitting in our white, Cracker-Barrel purchased, rocking chairs and pouring wisdom into our grand-babies.  You see, I am needed and I have plans. 

     What happens when our plans and God's don't match up? What if all along my story has been written and it's almost to the final chapter? Can I accept this passage and still give God glory?

     I will try to not dwell on the possibilities until Thursday. I don't want to waste this week. Instead, I will let my love overflow, I will be a little more silly, I will wiggle and tickle my two littles, I will try my best at embarrassing my man-boy with momma hugs and kisses, I will surprise my daughter at college with a lunch date,  and I will make sure these things are tucked away in my memory forever.